The Lies of an Honest Girl: Day 5

Hello readers! This is the second installment to the series. If your new and want to catch up simply click the button below. As always like or comment if you enjoy!

I lied, sue me. Tie me up and throw me in a ditch to rot. Or better yet chain me to a post and forget I exist. So, I lied! So, I told a fabrication of the truth! But the truth isn’t better than a lie. Lying is merely deplorable because of its dishonesty. And yet when honesty is told with the truest of intentions, it can be as wicked as any lie. People want you to lie them, or so I’ve learned. But when you spin a web of fiction favoring their needs, they will cast you aside the moment they realize they’ve been tricked.  

It all started on Monday at the end my shift at CoffeeWorld. Since Becka had taken off early, I was left to finish cleaning the coffee stained mugs alone. Suddenly as I finished the second to last mug, Brad walked through the door. Brad had always had an eye for mischief, but his reasons for it were often misunderstood. Most teachers believed drugs were at the core of his cheating allegations and poor grades. But what teachers didn’t know or what they didn’t want to see was his world beyond school grounds. While Brad walked up to counter he looked anxiously at the menu.

“Do you serve black coffee here?” he asked.

I nodded my head. “It’s a coffee shop. I can make you whatever you like.” I said.

“Right. Cool,” he uttered. Suddenly Brad leaned on the counter with his elbows outright, “You know I don’t like coffee very much.”

I laughed, “Then why are you in a coffee shop?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “Do you ever feel like you’re just wondering the streets trying to find a place to go?”

“Sometimes,” I said.  Then as I turned off the facet, my eyes met Brad. He stood there curious in nature and yet patient enough to be polite. I didn’t know if I should be afraid for the words I would say or the person I would declare myself to be. I wanted to run, to hide, to mask myself as pretty. Somehow I knew he would find the real me.

“If I may, where do you go?” he asked.

I crooked my head, “You really want to know? ‘Cause I’m not one of those women who goes shopping for fun or who gets joy from a sparkly tiara.”

He shook his head as he walked to the nearest table. “I never said you were,” he noted.

Suddenly, like a gentleman, he offered me the seat next to him. But what kind of woman did he think I was? Quickly I sat across from him ignoring his kind offer. In an instant, a smirk ran across his lips dancing a fine line between arrogant and amused. I could only scratch my thumb, to avoid eye contact with the man who’s inquisitive nature led to only thoughts which I could not have for another.  

“Well go on then,” he said.

“Okay, you asked for it,” I admitted. As I leaned back in my chair, Brad gazed upon me. I could feel his stare prickling my skin wanting perhaps even wishing to know me. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to write it all down and present to him the person I wanted to be. But he wouldn’t accept who I was, maybe in a fairytale where the prince finds the princess high in a tower somewhere. But I’m no princess, and he wasn’t a prince, so a simple story had to be told to keep his interest. Something that would make his eyes sparkle with wonder and make him come back wanting more.

“So…when I was little my mother would take me to a beach not too far from here. While I would play, she would set up a chair, dig her feet into the sand, and gaze into the ocean. She looked so peaceful sitting there, free of stress, free of disorder just sitting there peering at the waves. Anyways that’s where I go,” I said.  

Brad smiled as his eyes lit with a flame of fascination. “Wow, now I’m jealous. I could be at a beach,” he remarked.

I laughed, “Yeah, why did you pick this place?” I asked.

“Umm…” he trailed off.  As he looked over his shoulder at the rows of empty tables,  the black night shined luminous into his eyes. I could see he was sacred not of the darkness but the emptiness. I wanted to reach out and tell him it would be okay. But as he looked back at me his face hardened with more confidence than perhaps his own body could take. He shrugged, but as his body moved he winced at the lie, he was about to tell.

“It’s empty, and it looked quiet I guess,” he uttered.   

I folded my arms, “I guess those are good reasons to come here,” I said.    

Brad only smirked as he leaned on the table allowing his eyes to wonder at my lips. “Are there any bad reasons?” he asked.   

“Depends on your point of view I guess. I don’t mind a distraction or two as long that’s all they are. Distractions. Did you come here looking for a distraction?”

Brad leaned back in his chair as he studied me. As moments turned to minutes, I became anxious perhaps I read the signals wrong or maybe he’s just not into women. I wanted to say something, anything to end the silence but everything I thought of seemed wrong. Suddenly when I began tapping my foot, Brad leaned in. His eyes filled with interest and wondered with delight. But behind such curiosity, I could see the beast inside, painted in red outline telling me to run. For the first time in a long time, I smiled for I was not alone. He who sat before me was the reflection of my own soul. Broken and frustrated, wishing he had control. Instead of recoiling like any normal person would I held steadfast in my quest and didn’t think to turn back. Abruptly Brad leaned in to whisper in my ear. I held my breath as he asked,  “Can I ask you a question?”

I nodded my head.

“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked.   

I could have said yes, I should have said yes. It’s my duty as a girlfriend to say yes. But in a moment where you can win or lose simply by the words you chose. I knew I had to make a choice: be the dutiful girlfriend or chose myself. What kind of choice is that? It’s not like left or right, pork or beef; it’s betrayal or sacrifice. But I did chose, in a fleeting glimpse of what could be I chose to say, “No.”

To be continued…