The Girl I Once Knew (Updated)

To the girl, I once knew,
I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you.      
You tried, you warned me,
But all the red flags of a life not lead, were not merely enough to save me for what was ahead.
I simply wanted what I didn’t have.
You are not to blame for what I did.   
No one could tell me otherwise,
that a mistake was around the bend,
leading me down a path that was scorched with regret.  

I’m not going to lie and say I would have left.
Because my mind you see was taunted with the dreams of kings,
Molded, slowly, allowing me to believe that I was loved until I combusted.
Leaving the bits and pieces of my heart exposed to the lonely and the feared.   

Yes, I could have said no to the needle,
I could have said anything but yes.
But I hid in the corners of my mind until my legs went slack,  
and my lips went blue with lies I no longer knew.
Forgetting the responsibilities I should have. 

You could say I was a child,  
looking for a way out,
But as I stood at the doorway searching for myself,
I only thought of you, the girl I once knew.
And wondered what could have happened if I didn’t lose you,  
Would I have become anything more?
Or is this my fate to slowly die knowing I was once so pure and innocent?